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before class on Friday.
I thought about you all the way home today,
Looked down into the well
first saw only an etching of now on the water’s mirror
Then slipped through the surface reflection
and remembered well the pitch black vacuous isolation, the muted angst
of being 15, 16, 17
and thought, “I just want you to be happy; as they say, it does get better.”
In the time that has passed, nearly doubling my age and subsequent life experience,
from that familiar place in 9th,10th, 11th grade
I hear one of my teacher’s words –
recently uncovered while packing up a filing cabinet drawer at my parents’ house –
sticking out from the paragraph
he scrawled on the evaluation sheet of my senior portfolio, a line read,
“’I hope you find the happiness you’re looking for…’ – Mr. H”
With the passing of time, doubling of my confidence and possibly my tangible joy,
I have.
And it seems all the more sweet now,
Makes me want to hug, smile at,
see eye to eye, spirit to spirit
with the people I work with every day
who are where I was 13 or 14 years ago,
and
it makes me want to thank, hug, shakes hands with
the adults who were in my corner,
rooting for me,
loving me,
seeing potential in me
when I felt wayward, pretty much on the right track, but ultimately lucky
an invisible force kept me
like fishing line holding the planets in their assigned place on a classroom mobile
until I could find my real wings in college.
Time acts as a looking glass
so much so
that as I drove home,
singing along with Tom Petty’s chorus “you don’t know how it feels to be me”
I can admit that I do not know everything that student is going through,
But I do know I care about 157 of you
and I don’t want anyone to wander for too long, or feel too alone
during this time of finding yourself.